December 22 Hunt

Cloudy, 43 degrees, west/northwest wind 10-15mph, 10am to 2pm. Mike Bodensteiner and I launched the boat at Neosho Wildlife Area around 9am. We headed to the northeast section of Pool 1. We set up off one of the mounds in the east/northest section of Pool 1 and were set up by 10am.

After about one hour a drake and hen mallard came in nicely and Mike shot the drake. Thirty minutes later a small flock of ringnecks came in and I went "slumming" and shot one drake ringneck from the flock. Two hours later a pair of drake mallards came right in to the hole and Mike and I shot both. We stayed for 30 more minutes.

The birds were working the northern part of Pool 1 pretty hard, mainly in the corn. We were set up slightly too far south but still shot as many birds as anyone else in the pool.

Next, Chris Miller and I are headed to hunt the flooded green timber along the White River near Searcy, Arkansas, on December 28 and 29 with SwampBuck Outfitters. We'll keep our fingers crossed for a good green timber hunt.

December 16 Outdoor Column

The following column appeared in the December 16 edition of The Morning Sun in Pittsburg Kansas.

A Waterfowler's Guide to Gear

At this festive time of year, wives may wish to browse the aisles of local sporting goods stores on a hunt for the perfect gift for the waterfowler who may already have everything, they think. Take heed: Shop not one minute more until you have read this.

My official recommendation for Christmas 2006 is an L.L. Bean Macinac coat in the brightest, most obnoxious color of Blaze Orange you can find. The rationale behind this, of course, is that you will keep your waterfowler toasty warm while he scares every duck this side of Alberta toward my hunting spotŠwhich is perfectly camouflaged with the latest camo pattern.

Now here is where you can really shine in the bloodshot eyes of your special waterfowler. Chest waders can make a good hunt great or a bad hunt, well, let's just say a "colorful" experience.

My official recommendation for Christmas 2006 would be a pair of the finest neoprene chest waders. Neoprene's insulating properties set the gold standard for warmth and comfort in the coldest of duck blinds.

I heartily recommend, however, that rather than spend your hard-earned money, go for a pair of waders that are a bit cheaper so you're not too strapped this holiday season. They're likely to spring a leak, or accidentally tear when you're wrapping them, but don't worry. Just patch them quickly with some masking tape and reassure your waterfowler all is well.

Then, when your waterfowler has that great spot and mallards winging in by the hundreds, it's a sure bet a chilling sensation will hug his warm body and he'll feel the need to get the heck out of there post haste. I may now move into that great spot at my leisure and enjoy another crisp day afield with greenheads swarming like flies to a summertime barbeque.

Duck Call

I am a connoisseur of duck calls, so I feel qualified to say that for Christmas 2006 you will want to choose only the finest handmade duck call for your one and only waterfowler. Look no further than Rich-N-Tone Calls Inc. in Stuttgart, Ark.

The boys at Rich-N-Tone have lied about shooting more ducks than the average waterfowler will ever see. They walk and talk duck, period.

However, you will need to modify your handmade duck call after it arrives to ensure the sound so closely mimics a fat and happy mallard that it fools even the large white goose at your local city park.

First, give the call to a 1-year-old child for about a week. Only after teething, substituting as a pacifier, and being used to blow loud quacks from the back seat will that rich patina of a duck call be suitable.

Complete the process by removing the reed from the call and replacing it with one from say, your 20-year-old clarinet that has been stowed in your attic since high school. Now when your very own Sinatra of the Swamp belts out those sour, paltry notes, they will make even my poor calling sound good and those greenheads will head my way instead.

Well, there you have it, all the tips to land you in the catbird seat with your waterfowl enthusiast this holiday season. And if you don't know a waterfowler, consider yourself lucky.

Brad Stefanoni is a lifelong waterfowler and southeast Kansas resident. He can be reached at aldo1674@yahoo.com

November 18 Outdoor Column

The following column appeared in the November 18 edition of The Morning Sun in Pittsburg Kansas.
Many who read my wife's outdoor column have heard her pontificate on my affection for waterfowl hunting shows. Near or far, you won't find any place else a neurotic duck hunter can experience a hunt in his underwear while sitting in a La-Z-Boy eating a bowl of cereal.

The trouble arises, however, when one conducts a careful analysis of typical waterfowl hunting shows as compared to actual waterfowl hunting.

Allow me, if you will, to describe a scene from a typical waterfowl hunting show one can purchase from any area Wal-Mart or online through a variety of sources. The shows begin with about 20 minutes of infomercials from sponsors of products that the average sucker does not need, nor would be able to afford.

The hunts on typical waterfowl hunting shows generally occur in private ""hot spots"" the average duck hunter would never be allowed to hunt and feature highly trained, multi-lingual Labrador retrievers that always behave themselves and never lick unmentionable body parts. At least, not on camera.

The human stars of typical waterfowl hunting shows usually look like they just stepped from a page in Field & Stream Magazine and not one ever has a torn crotch in his hunting pants nor yesterday's stubble on his chin.

During their hunt they enjoy tasty, filling breakfasts you can almost smell through the television, all effortlessly prepared from the comfort of their fully stocked duck blind kitchens complete with stainless steel appliances.

When they are done with their hunts, they usually return to a scenic lodge where they enjoy glasses of wine by a stone fireplace or on a verandah while waiting for someone else to clean and prepare their ducks for supper.

Many a morning have a particular hunting partner and I proclaimed on our duck blind soapbox, "I'd like those TV stars to come on a duck hunt with us and experience the REAL world."

So, with reality TV being the rage now, my hunting partner and I have created the ultimate reality waterfowl hunting show. It goes a little something like thisŠ

Act 1, Scene 1

The camera pans to capture The Average Hunters being dropped off in the middle of a public hunting marsh on opening day of the 2006-2007 Kansas duck season. The Average Hunters have two sacks of duck decoys, their guns and a Labrador retriever named "Ace" who is peeing on another hunter's boots while he eats their leftover donuts.

Act 1, Scene 2

After being yelled at by 50 other hunters for trying to steal their spots, The Average Hunters finally find a place to hunt that is three miles from their vehicle. One is attempting to fix a hole in his chest waders by wrapping black electrical tape around the fabric, while his partner sets all the decoys and tries to locate the trusty Labrador retriever by triangulating the sounds of loud expletives from other hunters across the marsh.

Act 2, Scene 1

As legal shooting time approaches, the symphony of duck calls begins, waterfowl are everywhere, and Average Hunter Number One's gun jams just as a flock of greenheads fly over. He issues loud expletives, which the trusty Labrador - finally positioned where he ought to be - takes personally and decides to bolt.

Act 2, Scene 2

For the next three and a half hours, not one other flock of waterfowl comes within two miles of the Average Hunters' spot, but they hear plenty of shots fired from other hunters off in the distance. They return home, cold, hungry and tired, with one hen gadwall to show for themselves, which Average Hunter Number Two's wife isn't going to let come within 100 yards of her kitchen, and it isn't enough for a batch of duck poppers anyway.

Somebody call Hollywood. I think we're on to something here.

November Update

I hunted November 17, 20, 21, and 22 with the new boat and never fired a shot. Sixty degrees and no wind didn't help much. The weather looks like it will turn nasty on Thursday, November 30, but I will be in California on business so the duck boat won't even hit the water. It looks like the next opportunity I'll have to chase ducks will be December 9.

Chris Miller and I are looking forward to our Arkansas green timber hunt on December 28 and 29. We'll be sure to report...

Halloween Migration

I was giving my 19-month old son a bottle early in the morning of Halloween and heard snow geese migrating on a 20 mile per hour north wind. It seems like there is always a migration of snow geese around Halloween in southeast Kansas. That north wind is still blowing 20-30 miles per hour today so I would guess more birds willl be on the wing.

Youth Hunt 2006

Following is a column that appeared in The Morning Sun in Pittsburg, Kansas, on Saturday, October 28, about my youth hunt with Keaton Brown of Frontenac, Kansas.

Passing the Torch

When I was 12 years old a family friend invited me on my first duck hunt. Eyebrows began to raise. The men in my family, from Great Grandpa on down to Dad, were dyed-in-the-wool quail hunters. My mother braced herself for the worst and reminded me that, should I shoot a duck, I had better plan on Grandma cooking it, as it wasn’t coming near the roast beef in her refrigerator.

Last week, Destry Brown, superintendent of schools at Frontenac, sat underneath a stuffed wood duck in my office at Greenbush, surrounded by my smattering of duck hunting photos and memorabelia, and asked if I would be interested in taking his son, Keaton, duck hunting during the Youth Waterfowl Season.
I told him it would be my pleasure. I meant it.

The mission of this special two-day season open, prior to the start of the regular waterfowl season, is to introduce youth to the sport and lifestyle of waterfowl hunting.

I heard the voice of the family friend in my head — the one who introduced hunting to me — and he was telling me, “It’s your turn.”

Now, let me tell you, a hunting guide I am not. Fact is one of my hunting partners likes to hunt with me because he rarely has any game to have to clean at the end of the day.

For those of you who are not duck hunters, know that the insanity of duck hunting can be summarized as this: One awakens in the cold, predawn darkness to travel miles to a mud hole, only to stand in 35-degree water watching a floating flock of plastic ducks in hopes of luring non-plastic ducks into shotgun range, while a 30-mile-per-hour north wind drives rain or snow down the back of your neck.
But I love it. And I want to pass it on.

As I arrived at the Brown residence at 5:40 a.m. Sunday, I saw a mass of camouflage clothing, a sack of duck decoys, and a smiling face. Within the first five minutes of our commute, it was apparent that this young man was well spoken, polite, and held a budding passion for the sights, sounds, and experiences of duck hunting.

We finally arrived at a small pond in the middle of a cattle pasture, then waded through the muck to strategically place our decoys. Keaton loaded his youth model shotgun as we both checked and re-checked our watches to countdown the minutes until legal shooting time.

Keaton signaled me of a great blue heron that landed only a few yards behind us. We speculated that it was in search of an early breakfast of fish from the chilly pond water. It might help our chances; herons are “confidence decoys,” meaning they give confidence to ducks considering landing because herons by nature are skittish to out-of-the-ordinary noises or movement.

In the next second, I caught sight of a small flock of ducks cresting the pond dam. I barely had time to signal Keaton before they began to alight among our decoys. He rose and shot, bringing down one bird. My eager Labrador made her first retrieve of this waterfowl season, bringing to hand Keaton’s first wood duck.

During the next two hours we enjoyed a beautiful Kansas sunrise with a few more ducks passing here and there. A flock of Canada geese glided into our decoys completely unaware of the human eyes glaring back at them. We watched as a red tailed hawk floated effortlessly over the grass in search of its morning meal.

The details of our morning harvest comprise one single paragraph of this story. That is because, as most duck hunters know, the passion lies not in the tally of the harvest, but rather in the memories created by the intangible experiences of an autumn morning spent in the outdoors.

I think only now can I begin to understand the true meaning of the word “mentor,” because I had one. I hope I learned what I needed from him, because now I it’s my turn to be one not only to young hunters like Keaton but to my two sons in a few years. The torch has been passed.

First Migration of 2006

I heard white fronted geese migrating in the early morning of Thursday, October 12. Southeast Kansas is still in need of rain but the forecast has rain chances in the next 10 days. They are still pumping water at the Neosho Wildlife Area and the hunting pools as well as the refuge pool are filling...slowly. A good runoff rain would sure help.

Water is Moving!

I received word that water is being pumped into the ditches, hunting pools, and refuge pool at the Neosho Wildlife Area! Great news as it is bone dry and no water translates into no ducks.

Need Rain!

I have not made it out dove hunting as of yet and probably won't. We finally received some rain yesterday (Sunday, 9/17) but not enough to produce any runoff.

I am beginning to worry that I will not get to use the new duck boat this year.

Dove Season Opens Today!

The 2006-2007 hunting season opened today with me sitting in my office. I plan to get out to the Mike Bodensteiner sunflower field on Saturday to, hopefully, shoot a few doves, miss a few doves, and get Aggie out for her first hunt of the year.